Taking Back My Personal Space Because The Only Person It Needs to Be Safe For Is Me

caique-silva-437040-unsplash.jpg

Photo by Caique Silva on Unsplash

There was a time where I positioned my page as a safe space for those who needed a place to vent or speak their experiences freely. I welcomed differing opinions and positions as a way to show that “I” was a supporter and a team player.

That was two years ago.

Today, I (unapologetically) no longer position my place as a safe space because experience has taught me that when people view you and/or your space as a place of safety their brains translates that into being a place where they can do anything, say anything and move any type of way because they feel “protected”. Which should be a good thing for the average person but for some reason people, especially digital people, they have a tendency of taking advantage and seeing how far they can push the idea of it being a free safe space.

I liken the experience to inviting someone over, telling them to make themselves at home and then getting upset when you walk in and they’ve got their feet propped up on your coffee table with their cold open pop sitting carelessly on top of the table with no coaster. You are angry that they are acting this way in your home but you told them to make yourself at home. This is how they act at home. So, whose at fault here? You are.

So I stopped inviting people into my house and telling them to make themselves at home. When you come into my space there are rules and guidelines that must be followed. If you disrespect someone who had already taken residence in my home or in my space I am not going to jump in and protect you because you are an adult. If you open your mouth be prepared for whatever you receive back.

I have honestly spent more time arguing with people about respecting my space then I have any other thing. And when you sit down and really think about it, it’s like why? Why would you continue to argue with someone who is disrespecting your home and not following your rules where you pay the bills instead of putting them out and telling them they’re no longer invited into your space? The same rules and guidelines fall on Facebook. People think just because you have a public page and open comments that that gives them free reign to come in and say or do whatever it is that they want to do and they hide behind the idea that this is an open free platform.

Is it public? Yes. Is it open? Maybe. But I’m sure you would not walk into an open business and just start taking things that you did not pay for because even though the sign says open you are well aware that open does not mean free.

These days I’ll put people out. I change the locks. And I don’t feel any kind away about it.

It is what it is.