Memo 2: When You Know Better, You Do Better Because You ARE Better and That’s Okay

Memo 2: When You Know Better, You Do Better Because You ARE Better and That’s Okay

When You Know Better, You Do Better

A few years ago when I began my journey to becoming a better version of "myself" I was forced to take a hard look at the people who were around me and analyze the contributions each person made to my current situations and weigh them against what they could possibly contribute to my new journey. I had to come to a realistic conclusion as to what they were able to contribute to my life. In doing so, I had to determine if where they were at that moment aligned with where I wanted to be eventually. Based on my previous relationships and dealing with them, I had to ask myself if "I" felt that I was better than what they presented or if I was the same.

I had to decide I was better. I decided I was better than what they had to offer.

I had to be better because I "was" better than that.

I know it is the "trendy" thing to do. To publicly proclaim that you are not this "ist" and that "ist" so that you can continue the facade of solidarity and unity. But outside of these digital walls, the attitude of not "being better" is exactly the reason why many are struggling in ways that they probably would not be if better decisions were made about the company kept, the people protected in your circle and personal business was handled

EVERYONE feels as if they are better than "someone or something" in some way. To deny this is to deny your own window of growth. We leave jobs because we feel as though we are better than the treatment we receive. We deny offers because we feel as if we are better AND worth more than what is/was offered, we end friendships and relationships when we have "outgrown" the other person,

I had to stop taking advice from women who had never been in a serious relationship much less married

I had to stop taking advice from people who screamed entrepreneurship over education but were still working the same 6 hour shifts at the mall department store where they were making just above minimum wage (and I was already making a significantly higher salary).

I had to stop taking advice from "im about to..." folks who were always in the "process" of doing something but whatever it was they were in the process of doing never come to fruition.

I had to stop taking advice from "friends" who were trying to tell me "how" to deal with men and what I should be demanding, but they could never seem to get the men they were with to "commit" or ever treat them like a human being.

I had to stop taking advice people who lived in their "glory days" and refused to wake up and realize that this was a new day and old strategies and teachings no longer worked.

,You can not grow doing the same things, with the same people, taking advice from the same people who have been stagnant in their own lives and absent in their own situations.

Periods sync.

Energies sync.

Mindsets sync.

Behaviors sync.

Habits sync.

If you stay around the same person/group of people for too long you will begin to behave the same.

There is nothing wrong with feeling as if you are "better" because in order to do better you HAVE to BE better. The problem is when you begin to "treat" people as if they are less than you are. When you begin to treat people as less than human because you view them as "scum" is when the idea of being "better" becomes dangerous.

Stop letting social media conversations "shame" you into a box you don't want to be in, aren't comfortable in and don't belong in. If you want to go to school, go. If you want to change your lifestyle, change it.

There is NOTHING wrong with "being" better.

Just remember that there is always going to be someone better than "you" at something, in some way...the mold didn't break when you were remodeled.


Owner of Love My Black, LLC + Eighty5OH8 -Award Winning Blogger/Author | Viral Troublemaker | Mother of One | Brand and PR strategist